My reflection of 2017, and New Year Resolutions (which do not include intentions of changing my body size)
Happy New Year friends! Whether you stayed in and snuggled up with a good book or partied the night away with your favorite people, I hope you could reflect on your wins and learning experiences of 2017.
I can’t believe how much happened last year. There were many highs and a fair share of lows. I graduated college and became a Registered Dietitian. I became aware of the non-diet/health at every size approach to nutrition and healthcare, and consumed so much knowledge that my head feels like it will explode with gratitude and passion. I built a website and started a blog to spread the radical notion of body acceptance and true nourishment. I accepted my first full time position with a highly ranked hospital system and am learning SO. MUCH. I traveled and spent time with wonderful humans. I gained a best canine friend and grew closer to my soul mate.
I also struggled with anxiety and depression. I was rejected from at least 4 different jobs that I really wanted. Many of my friends moved away and I felt lonely. I thought I may not want to be a dietitian at all because it didn’t feel ethical. I felt hurt and shame and regret and self-conscious for a multitude of reasons. I think it’s important to share the lows of life as social media (and blogs) can look like shiny highlight reels that are not reflective of reality.
What I came to realize is growth does not come without failure and struggle. It doesn’t come without questioning what you know and what you are told. Being vulnerable and honest and authentic without fear of what others think of you is an important part of becoming who YOU want to be.
Last year (and every year before) my resolution likely had something to do with changing my body size, sometimes reframed as “become healthier” so that it was easier to swallow. It was the year I would finally lose the “excess” fat and the year I would work out so much harder than I ever had before. It would be the year that I would finally be able to stick to a “meal plan” or “lifestyle change” AKA diets, and that I wouldn’t binge on food when I restricted my eating. It would be the year of my supposed best self that would bring love and acceptance and praise and all other good things.
What I realized through the trajectory of 2017 is none of that bullshit matters. It doesn’t matter what your body size is. It doesn’t matter if you only ate X number of calories to try and control your weight. It doesn’t matter if you were able to exercise without rest for several days in a row. Dieting does not make you a better person, or morally above others. And it sure as hell doesn’t contribute to health.
This year I have a running list of things that I plan on taking as an opportunity to help me continue to grow (I guess you can call them my resolutions but I hate that word)….
- Be brave in everything I do, especially in my work as a non-diet, health at every size dietitian
- Learn to be in the present moment and intentional with how I spend my time
- Invest in relationships, because without them we would be robots
- LISTEN MORE, SPEAK LESS
- Clean for 10 minutes every day (I hate chores lol)
- Read 1-2 books per month that challenge my thoughts and feed my soul
Tell me, what are some areas that you hope to grow in this year?